Hi. I'm Oliver. I've been growing a mustache to support ACES, a place that helps at-risk, inner-city kids. You'd think growing hair wouldn't be a tiring process, but it is. And I haven't even fully shaped my mustache yet. I'm just growing my face hair so I can make a sweet mustache with some mousse or hair gel. I'm a really good mustache grower and totally dedicated to the kids, but it's still a lot of work.First of all, when you're walking with your mom and you pass another dog, you have to explain why you look like a douche. I'm like, "Don't laugh at me--I'm growing this mustache to help the kids--human kids." If it's a dude dog, I'll add a "So quit your staring, you lazy turdhead." If it's a hot chick dog, I'll follow up with a "I'm a really sensitive, caring dog. And totally single." Either way, it takes a lot of energy to explain yourself all the time.
So make me look good in front of all the cute girl-dogs and donate to ACES for their mustache growing contest. Just remember to put my name in the designation box. If I raise the most money for ACES, I get a new squirrel toy. (And I'd really like a new squirrel toy.)
Right now I'm staying with this really nice lady named Karen. She has a husband named Richard and they're both really nice. My mom is taking a little vacation so she made sure to have me stay with really nice people. Karen pets me all the time and doesn't get mad when I try to sniff her butt. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't yell at me either. A lot of humans when get really mad when you sniff their butts. I don't know what the big deal is, but oh well.
I'll talk more about how nice Karen is later. Right now I'm really tired from all this mustache growing. I'm lucky to have a nice mom and a nice lady watch me when my mom takes little trips. And now's your chance to be really nice too. Donate to ACES and help me raise a butt load of money to help more kids. If I can grow a mustache, you can click on a link and make a donation. Even if it's just $5--that would help a lot. (But $100 would help more.)
Falling alseep n ow.
Th e e n d.
Ol l i
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