Monday, August 2, 2010

I Feel Kinda Funny

Hi. I'm Oliver. And I'm a little out of it today. I had to go to the vet doctor to get my teeth cleaned and it was a big ordeal. First I had to get up really early so my mom could take me for a walk and let me do my business. Then we had to drive a super long way to get to the vet doctor place on time. To make matters worse I was stuck there all day.

When I got into the car this morning, I thought we were going somewhere fun--like the dog park or my mom's friend Karen's house, or even my grandma's house where I always get lots of cheese on my food. But no, I got duped into getting my teeth cleaned.

When doggies get their teeth cleaned, they have to get put under a general anesthesia so that the vet doctors don't have to worry about getting their fingers bit off. I would never bite a vet doctor's fingers off. (Even though they deserve it with all those shots, probes and stuff. Dicks).

Anyway, I'm still feeling a little funny after all that anesthesia and the big pain medication shot. It's like I'm moving in slow motion and the world is slightly tilted.

Uh oh. What if the world really is tilted now? Whoa. That would be so creepy. But at least it would explain why I tripped up the stairs. Twice.

All I did was trot up the back steps like I normally do and the next thing I know I'm flat on my face, feeling like a total retard (sorry, mentally-challenged noun) and my mom starts fussing over me. Thank god there weren't any hot wheatens or cocker spaniels around to see my mom get all concerned and overreact. I mean, sometimes a dog just needs to prove his manhood by getting hurt and NOT being a big cry baby about it. But my mom just doesn't understand that. She can be so emasculating when you trip over something and stub your toenail or get too close to a bee.

My point is... um... um... I totally forgot my point. Yep. I'm definitely a little loopy and out of it. Oh well. I might as well take advantage of my condition and enjoy that floaty feeling.

Hey, you know what sounds really good right now? Bruce. My fox toy. And Gummy Bears. I'm too tired to chew the crap out of Bruce, but he does make a nice pillow. And the Gummy Bears? I have no idea why I brought up Gummy Bears. Maybe because I feel like a Gummy Bear.

Whee. Feeling like a Gummy Bear. Booo. Stupid day at the vet.

The end.