Yay My New Fox Toy!

Hi. I'm Oliver.

Yay my new fox toy! Yay my new fox toy! I'm super fired up about my new fox toy. I'm so fired up I even gave him a name.

Bruce.

I named him Bruce because I think it's a dumb name. I'm sure there are many cool dudes named Bruce, but to me Bruce is a dumb name. Especially for a fox. Thor would be a good name for a fox because it sounds mean. But Bruce, that just sounds like a stupid computer-nerd fox. And nothing makes me want to rip apart a fox like nerdy-ass fox. So that's why I named him Bruce. Gets me all fired up and in my terrier mode. Yay me.

Other things I've been doing with Bruce are getting him to squeak and flinging him off the couch. Bruce has a little squeaky thing in his neck so I focus on that area a lot and get him to make noise. I'm glad it's just a squeak sound because if it was a real fox crying sound, well, that would freak me out. Remember, I'm a domesticated dog. And while I don't take my dooks in a toilet, I'm not into killing stuff. Or the sounds of killing stuff. I just like squeaky sounds so that's why I focus on the squeaky part of the fox.

I also like to fling Bruce off the couch. Then I sit and look at him for a while. Then I jump down and chew on him some more. And then I jump back on the couch and do it all over again. It's fun little game for a fox terrier like me. I don't have much to do during the day (other than bark at the postman) so the stuff I do with Bruce is pretty entertaining. And before I know it, my mom comes home.

I get all excited and forget about Bruce when my mom comes home because I really like it when my mom comes home. I run around and jump up and down and act like she hasn't been home for days. I do it to boost her self esteem, and because I really do like when she comes home. It's one of the best things ever when my mom comes home.

Except when I have an accident in the house. (Accident being the key word here.) It doesn't happen very often. And I always do my emergency business in the basement, but I still feel like an butt-munch when it happens. Especially when I have to face my mom afterwards. Sometimes I even hide in the hallway until she says, "It's okay, Oliver. I should've let you out again before I left." The truth is, I should've done my business when I had the chance instead of chasing squirrels all around. But she doesn't need to know that. It's a lot better when she blames herself for stuff.

My mom's a nice lady. She gave me a new fox toy just like she promised. My mom and Bruce. Two of the best things ever.

The end.

Ollie