Today Sucks

Hi. I'm Oliver. And today totally sucks.

It took my mom forever to get home. And when she finally did get home, she yelled at me for chewing a big hole in her sock monkey slipper. I just pretended I didn't know what she was talking about and jumped up and down and up and down and up and down until she rubbed my belly. But she only gave me like two rubs before reexamining her stupid slipper.

My mom's totally overreacting about the slipper.

The slipper still works, there's just a big hole in it. There are a lot worse things than having a big hole in your sock monkey slipper. And according to my mom, one of those things is me letting a little pee out in the basement. So I got yelled at again.

"Oll-llie! What did you do?"

She knew what I did. I peed in the basement. Why was she asking me what I did? It's so dumb when people know what you did, but they still ask you what you did and then yell at you in the form of a question.

In my defense, I did use the basement. I could've let my pee out anywhere, but I let it out in the basement, where it couldn't hurt anything. I don't like it when I can't hold it until my mom comes home, so I made the best out of bad situation.

Two little pees in two little places. And a big hole in my mom's sock monkey slipper. I was never going to get my belly rubs. Or a dried chicken treat. Or a partner to play "Tug-O-Bruce" with me.

Stupid sucky day. And it only got worse.

While my mom was cleaning up my pee, I left Bruce on the steps as a reminder for her to play with Bruce and me. But instead of seeing him, she tripped over him on her way up the stairs. She didn't get hurt, but the pop she was carrying went flying and erupted everywhere.

Errrrtttttt! I was out of there and hiding around the corner before the last drop even landed on the floor. I waited for my mom to yell at me again, but she didn't. She just sat on the floor and looked sad. I knew she'd been having a tough time lately, so I went over to her and tried to make it better.

"Ollie! You're stepping in it!"

Jeeze Louise. I couldn't do anything right. What a stupid, stupid day. But then she just wiped off my feet, shooed me away and cleaned up the mess. She even gave me a belly rub when she was done cleaning. I love belly rubs. And treats. I didn't get a treat, but I did get my regular food. And it was yummy. I ate the whole bowl and everything was good again.

Until my mom noticed I got into the dirty clothes and chewed on her underwear.

The end.

Ollie